Ruth McBride Jordan, the author's mother, was a very strong woman. She left her Orthodox Jewish family in Virginia at a young age, married two black men (at different times), became a devout Christian, and raised 11 black children, who each became successful in their field. Throughout her life, she kept many secrets about her history from her children. I think keeping these secrets from her family for such a long time made her into the person she was- proud, willful, and independent. I think that holding that many secrets inside you would prevent you from interacting and depending on other people, which describes Ruth perfectly. She was proud, and refused to talk with the other people in her neighborhood, much less rely on them. For example, she would always tell James to "...stick to your brothers and sisters, that's it. Don't tell nobody your business neither!" She did not want to socialize with anyone, and didn't want her children to either.
We all have secrets and we're all proud at times (in good or bad ways), but I don't think that makes us completely independent of others, and we shouldn't be. Pride precludes us from showing emotion, acting from the heart, and being compassionate towards others. It prevents us from accepting mistakes, resolving conflicts, and it stops us from changing who we are, inside and outside.
I think many of these problems can be fixed by talking and being with other people. I think that, deep down, every person relies on someone else for their happiness, no matter how independent they might seem. Even Ruth McBride turned out to be dependent in the end– when her second husband died, her composure fell away and she was unable to stay organized or enjoy herself. She never fully regained her original independent personality.
Hello this is Nils. This is an interesting thought that you brought up on humans reliance on social interactions to solve problems. I agree with you that sometimes it is best to talk about an issue you are having is a good way of solving it. However I have to disagree with you on that Ruth doesn't talk to her neighbors based on her pride of her independence. I read this book last year and i think that the reason Ruth was not social because she was used not to be being accepted, like when she lived in Virginia in a racist town (if I remember correctly) and she was impregnated by a black man. Great post, though.
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